New Woo

New Woo :: Astrology

While I learn to overcome the past and manifest greatness, and align my spine and chakras or whatever-the-hell in the present, I find myself also looking to the woo-woo for a peek into the future. What does this year hold for me, and for the world around me? Is there a way to know how to proceed when there’s so much up in the air? Can I at least learn to interpret the blueprints of what the universe might be trying to show me?

As they say, “When in doubt, look up.”new woo __ astrologyEver since the prepubescent golden days of reading YM and Seventeen in my dark bedroom by actual-flashlight, way back when printed magazines came in the actual-mail along with our twenty-two Columbia House CDs, I have been obsessed with astrology.

Okay, obsessed might be a strong word, especially since I grew up in a fairly conservative home where watching The Simpsons and listening to bands that weren’t DC Talk were frowned upon, and playing Dungeons & Dragons in the neighbor kid’s basement was along the same lines of summoning demons with a candlelit Ouija board and some goat’s blood. I mean, I still did those things – with the exception of the demon summoning, I guess – but there wasn’t a whole lot of unsupervised time for a full-blown astrology obsession.

Although, now that I think about it, I did take several years of Latin in high school, so perhaps I could summon some demons. Hmm. That could be a skill that comes in handy down the road… Anyway, what I’m saying is: (nerdy) teens will be (socially awkward) teens. At least I wasn’t drinking in corn fields, right?

Regardless of the demons I did or did not summon, I loved horoscopes because as hokey as they were, they made me feel understood, and what teenager in the pre-internet age didn’t want to discover THAT? I’m a Sagittarius! There are more people like me out there? There are other real humans who just really get me and who are just as flighty and weird and foot-in-mouth-y as I am?! OH MY GOD HOW COOL IS THAT??  

*preteen squeal at a decibel heard only by canines*

As I grew older, and as the the World Wide Web became a world-ier, wider, webbier, and more easily navigable entity, I started to look further than Cosmo for my astrological woo-fixes.

I’ve been following Lance at Skywatch Astrology for well over a decade. He posts no-nonsense daily astrological forecasts that are not directed specifically at your Sun sign, but that allow you to view the movement of the planets and stars through a larger lens. His “born this week”, monthly, and yearly forecasts are also particularly enlightening!

I know I said I gave up Cosmo, but their longtime Bedside Astrologer, Hazel Dixon-Cooper, is one of my very favorite astrology writers, and I have a whole stack of her hilariously written Rotten Day astrology guides next to me at this very moment.

As I got deeper into astrology than simple Sun signs and glossy-pages horoscopes, I realized I needed a natal chart. I have been running mine, and those of friends, from Cafe Astrology for years. Pro-tip: you can get yours for free here, but if you want to pay a teensy bit, they’ll send you an even more detailed chart that’s easier to digest in the event that you’re not an in-depth weirdo like some of us. And this thing is VERY detailed.

Now, all that being said, the only time I have really ever tried to use my astrological “influencers” to divine the future or make shit happen in my life is when I was trying to get pregnant. Depending on how you came to this blog and how well you know me from my pre-woo-writing days, you may remember some of the desperation involved in that particular pursuit. I don’t believe I ever really found anything specific that made me think my stars were involved in how I came to be a parent, but sometimes just reading an astrological forecast, or a horoscope that was vaguely hopeful, brought me some serenity during some very tumultuous times.

Since I’m on this new woo journey, I thought maybe astrology would be a cool addition to my otherworldly repertoire. I’m in the process of revisiting and reviewing my natal chart now, as well as dusting off and exploring some of my old astrology books for answers about my past and present, and clues as to what lies ahead in my future.

I also selfishly want to know how many Sagittarians are also Ravenclaws. Caw caw, motherfuckers.

If you are an old pro at astrological readings, let me know! I’d love to hear more from seasoned stargazers! I’d also love to hear your stories of having your stars read professionally – were you able to find out something unexpected? Did you use any of that information to make changes to your life? Do you think your stars have an impact on your path through life? Tell me EVERYTHING.

As always, thanks for stopping by! Be sure to watch for my next post because you’re really going to want to know how the OMG SUPER WOLF BLOOD MOON is going to impact all of us!

*dun dun DUNNNN*

 

New Woo

New Woo :: Yoga

While I’m working on becoming a badass, I realize that thus far, manifesting the shit out of some positivity and abundance in my life has resulted in a lot of sitting. I know I need to move my body – that hasn’t been a big priority in my life in the past, honestly, and I’ve made that one of my biggest intentions for this year.

Yesterday was the first Monday of 2019, making it the unofficial New Year’s Day of Starting New Stuff. I made yesterday my bitch. I took a brisk 25 minute walk outside with my dog, I made and consumed healthy meals and snacks, I accomplished some other tasks on my to-do list, drank half my body weight in ounces of water like a non-garbage human, took vitamins, and felt pretty darn good about it.

Now, I live in the Midwest and January isn’t known for being terribly hospitable when it comes to outdoor physical activity regimens. We’re currently going through a little bit of a warm spell – it’s been in the forties and fifties here for the past few days – but that won’t last, and neither will my outdoor walking plans.

I knew I needed an indoor workout that I could do a.) without equipment because I have a1.) none, and a2.) no space for that, and b.) without a history of “working out” under my belt. Several people have recommended giving yoga another try recently – I suppose my insulting hot yoga’s mom probably didn’t help – and pretty much everyone agrees that Yoga with Adriene is the best place to start.

yoga

 noun

yo·​ga | \ˈyō-gə  \

Definition of yoga 

1 a Hindu theistic philosophy teaching the suppression of all activity of body, mind, and will in order that the self may realize its distinction from them and attain liberation

2a system of physical postures, breathing techniques, and sometimes meditation derived from Yoga but often practiced independently especially in Western cultures to promote physical and emotional well-being

 

Adriene, the totally not-Instagram-perfect, not-pretentious, not-super-woo-woo instructor, started a new 30 day series on January first called Dedicate. The nice thing is that you can actually start it at any time! Clearly, I didn’t know Adriene on January first, so she and I started our relationship today.

Yoga With Adriene

You can find her videos on YouTube, but if you sign up for her emails, you’ll get a nice little breakdown of each day, plus the video link, in your inbox every morning. The best part is that it’s FREE. The second best part is that her dog wanders around in the background of the videos, and he looks like just the nicest, sweetest, bestest doggo ever, yes he does.

Since today was Day One, I got totally ready. I shaved my legs. I put on yoga pants for something besides couch-sitting, Netflix-bingeing, and competitive-snacking. I put on my favorite Star Wars shirt, because from what I can understand, “namaste” means the exact same thing as “may the force be with you”. I gave myself a Yoda-level pep-talk, and I was ready to go.

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I do have one thousand blankets, so I laid one of those down. I opened Adriene’s Day One video, Discern, and hit play. She started slowly, talking about breathing and really helping me, a newbie, to understand some of the different ways you can breathe and move and listen to what your body is doing.

Adriene talks to you in a very calming way, but isn’t stuffy about it. I don’t know why every time I think about a yoga instructor, I think in extremes: it’s either picture-perfect Instagram influencer in full makeup on the beach at sunset, or it’s the love child of Professor Trelawney and Yoda. Thankfully, Adriene seems to fall in a nice, safe, middle ground. Also, do not Google “Professor Trelawney and Yoda fanfic” or you will see things you’ll never be able to unsee.

She talks you through the movements, but explains them both in technical terms, and using the proper names for each pose so you can catch on if you’re new. She also offers alternative options for poses and adjustments if your body just won’t, or can’t, do what she is asking. She reassures you many, many times throughout the video that “this is normal”.

By the time I completed the video, I could definitely feel the stretching in my muscles, and while I felt more relaxed, perhaps even centered, my heart rate was up and I had clearly done some good for my body. Today’s instruction was 49 minutes, but I looked ahead and most days appear to be in that 40-minute sweet spot.

All in all, it was a good burn. I liked it, but it was hard. I’m sure it’s going to get harder, and I am doing my very best to manifest bendy-vibes for the days to come. My hope is that once I start to get the hang of this, I can use the time to focus and meditate while moving my body. I’ve committed to 30 days of this, so I’ll update you as I go along both here, and on social media!

Will I gain muscle strength and flexibility? That’s the goal!

Will I harness the woo and find more inner peace, intentionality, and joy? I sure hope so!

Will I figure out where in the hell my third eye is? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT.

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Product Recommendation:

A few friends have been talking about an app called Daylio for tracking your activities and moods day to day. I just started using it!

It’s nice because you can customize the activities that make the most sense for your lifestyle, and you can set goals to accomplish and track them through the app. After time goes by, you can start to see patterns, and if you’re obsessed with data like I am, this is a very cool thing.

If you’re looking for something to help keep you on track, try Daylio for yourself, and track your goals, moods, and activities for 2019!

Read Receipts

Read Receipts :: Becoming a Badass

So.

I’ve started making progress on Jen Sincero’s You Are a Badass, and while I have not yet fully magicked into a Fierce Warrior Goddess of Positivity and Abundance, I can already tell that this book is going to have an impact.

In the freaking introduction, the author talks about change and success and general badassery being decisions one makes, and in that discussion quotes Anais Nin:

a (1)

Guys. This quote was a direct inspiration in the naming of this blog. The idea of the late-blooming flower, and the blind faith it sometimes takes to just let go and just be are big motivators in what I hope to accomplish, despite the roundabout ways I’ve taken, and likely will continue to take, to get there. Clearly Jen and I are meant to be besties. If you can hook that up, email me ay-sap.

Freaky coincidence aside, what I’ve read (and reread and highlighted and bookmarked) so far is definitely resonating with the path I’m setting myself on for the coming year. I’m looking forward to digging in further and really committing to this process.

Outside of devoting myself to this book fully, I’m trying to be less of a garbage human and drink more water. They (those bastards) say that you should drink half your body weight in ounces of water every day, and apparently the water used to make McDonald’s Coke doesn’t count, which is pretty much bullshit, but whatever.

In the same vein of being less garbagey, I made this sweeping statement that sounded suspiciously like a resolution that I would move my body more. I’ve never been a gym-rat, per se; and what I mean by that is that I don’t think I’ve ever really worked out in my entire life.

*gasp*

I KNOW, OKAY? So, while it’s probably a total set-up-for-failure to say that I’ll be working my ass off both figuratively and literally in 2019, I think it’s possible for me to commit to things like walking the dog more, giving yoga another chance (but seriously, fuck you and your mom, hot yoga), and maybe riding a bike. The littlest person in the house is getting to that bike-riding age, and come springtime, I think it would be setting a nice example if we could all maybe do that as a family. Plus, the other day I squatted down to get a can off the bottom shelf at a store, and it took me three tries to reverse-squat my way back upright, sooooo… yeah.

On that note, I’d like to flip the script, as the kids say – the kids do say that, right? Yeet the script? That sounds right. – and ask what goals, intentions, or even resolutions you the readers have set for yourselves in the coming months? Are you partaking in Dry January? No-Shave Nineteen (*raises both hands*)? Have you declared a Word of the Year? Is it “yeet”?

(Seriously, what is “yeet”?? Is it a noun, a verb? An expletive?? HELP ME I’M OLD.)

Let me know what you’re doing, or not doing this year. Let me know if I can support you! Let me know if there’s something you’d like to see me cover here on the blog!

Thanks, as always, for reading. I’m pretty excited about this new undertaking, and I can’t wait to see where all of these avenues of weirdness lead me. And I can’t wait to take you fellow weirdos with me.

*yeets positive vibes in your general direction*

 

 

Uncategorized

New Year, New Woo

New Year, New Woo.png

Happy New Year, y’all!

Did you wake up this morning brimming with hope and optimism? Have you spent the past few days making a list of resolutions, intentions, or goals for the coming year? Did you, too, spend yesterday eating your body weight in buffalo chicken dip and posting your Insta Top Nine all over the social medias?

Well then welcome to 2019, friends. It’s about to get INTENTIONAL up in here.

Oh hey, welcome to the blog, too, by the way. If you know me personally, digitally, or biblically (Hiiii, husband!), then you know I’ve had something up my sleeve for a while now.

This is it. I hope you’re not terribly disappointed that I didn’t join or form an actual cult, but you can always pretend if you want to! Just do what I do, but don’t hold me to any sort of responsibility for your choices or actions! Results definitely not guaranteed!

Here’s how all of this came about:

I spent much of 2018 floundering. I had crippling anxiety, left my long term job in recruitment, dyed my hair purple, started a couple of new ventures in the name of “work-life balance”, and lost both my mojo and motivation somewhere in probably August or September.

I was suffering from a lifetime of compounded feelings of inadequacy, perfectionism, and just not knowing what I wanted to BECOME, or how even to navigate those waters.

At thirty-*cough* years old, I figured I should really have a better handle on things, and yet…

*gestures around at flaming debris of adulthood*

So, as 2018 drew to a close, I knew that much of the world would be riding the grossly-optimistic tide of the “new year, new you” peddlers, and that was as good a time as any for me to start something new, and really commit to finding my way in life.

I have some dear friends who have been urging me to try some Law of Attraction work. If you’ve never read The Secret, the Law of Attraction is the belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, people can bring positive or negative experiences into their life. It’s all very “woo-woo”, but people swear it works.

woowoo

 adjective

After spending most of December feeling depressed, sad, and anxious about finances, the future, and everything around me, I decided that honestly, what did I have to lose at this point? Maybe I should give it a shot. So I started to think about my options.

Then I spent Christmas night taking actual shots of pinworm medication with my husband and four-year-old because kids are DIS GUST ING, and it was then that I KNEW I needed a change of mind, attitude, and spirit. And probably a gallon of bleach.

Jen Sincero’s book You are a Badass has been sitting on my shelf for a few months now, and I’ve decided to dive in and give myself over to her brand of Law of Attraction work.  Having read The Secret years ago in an attempt to voodoo a baby into my barren womb, I wasn’t interested in reliving that particular variety of woo.

So this is where I start: I’m going to attempt to woo me a NEW me, beginning with the Law of Attraction. Because I’ve been drawn to other woo-ish beliefs in the past, I’m also going to explore all sorts of interesting practices, and apply them to my life.

My hope here is to entertain and educate while learning and growing as a person. If I can gain a better understanding of what makes me tick, what I do well, and how I am best motivated, I believe I can parlay that into a meaningful life going forward.

I hope you’ll stick around to read about my adventures in attempting to magic my way into growing the fuck up, and please feel free to look me up pretty much everywhere you get your social media fix uploaded into your brain cavity.